The Ultimate Enigma
by Revhead
Summary: If Dean were to describe Cas, what would he say?


**The Ultimate Enigma**

"So, this friend of yours… Cas. Tell me about him."

"He's… hard to describe. I've known him for – god, has it been 9 years already? – but sometimes I feel like I don't know him at all. Just when I think I've got him pegged he goes and does something completely…

"Like one minute he'll be messing up pop culture references like he's never set foot on this planet before and the next he'll be talking about the most significant moments in human history like he lived them.

"Or he'll seem so small and sad sitting off in some corner somewhere hunched in on himself like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders, and then he'll stand up and somehow seem larger than life.

"He can charm little old ladies and bond with cute kids and comfort grieving widows and sooth crying babies, but when he wants to he can scare grown men shitless. He's totally hopeless when it comes to women though.

"He can be all holier than thou and self-righteous and proud and act like he is a giant among ants, but he can also seem so lost and unsure of himself, second-guessing his every decision and wallowing in guilt when things go to crap.

"He always tries to do the right thing, but he's so stubborn and wilful and doesn't _listen, _honestly he's like a _child_ sometimes, and he might not have a monopoly on bad choices but some of the things he has done have had like apocalyptic consequences. Not that I'm one to talk. And he's the type to try his best to make amends or die trying.

"He can be very serious, with a no nonsense attitude and this 'I don't have time for your crap' expression that he could patent I swear, but he can be utterly ridiculous too – don't ever mention bees in his general vicinity, or try to take him to a brothel, or let him anywhere near animals in general… especially cats and guniea pigs. He talks to them, like he'll have an actual conversation, I kid you not. But oh man, getting him drunk is the most hilarious thing ever. I don't know if he knows how funny he can be – just in some of the things he'll say or do – like is he doing it deliberately? Does he just have a really good poker face or what? It's probably a little of both.

"He's a total nerd too, you know. With the tax accountant get up – he seriously has no variation in outfits, I think he has changed it once in the whole time I've known him, though he's switching up the ties every so often now – and the way he talks like he swallowed a dictionary, and the way he takes everything so literally. Of course he knows everything about everything except for all the stuff to do with human interaction, where he's totally awkward and embarrassing but kind of hopelessly endearing at the same time. Women seem to lap it up for some bizarre reason.

"He can seem so harmless, and then out of the blue he'll do something that reminds me just how powerful he is. He can be friggin' _terrifying._ I've met a lot of dudes over the years who thought they were tough, but Cas could make the lot of them pee their pants with a single look. He was a soldier, you know. He was a commander and a general – he was the leader of his entire race of people once or twice, and at one point it looked like he was going to rule the world. But even when he's not in charge – and to be honest, leading isn't exactly his strong point – he is still a total bad ass and I forget that sometimes.

"He's like… the ultimate enigma. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, he doesn't want to fight, but he is the best damn warrior I've ever known. Seeing him in action – he's like a one-man army. I've seen him take on friggin' _monsters_ by himself without breaking a sweat. Anyone who tries to stand in his way realises pretty damn fast that they messed with the wrong guy.

"The weirdest thing is… He could do anything, be anything he wanted to be, and he chooses to hang around me and my brother.

"He has saved my life more times than I could count. He betrayed his family and sacrificed everything he had ever known because I asked him to. He has bled and fought and died for me.

"Except for Sam, there's no one I'd rather have watching my back in a fight. There's no one I trust more. When I need him he always comes through.

"When he's around, watching over me, I feel safe. And hell, if I'm honest with myself I enjoy his company. He's a good friend. My best friend, actually. Kinda my only friend a lot of the time.

"He's gentle and he listens and he always knows exactly what to say, or when to say nothing at all. He sees me, he _knows_ me, in a way no one else does, and he accepts me for exactly who I am. Sometimes the way he looks at me makes me feel like some kind of hero, like I'm worthy of respect and admiration and l- like I deserve to be saved.

"I'm not exactly a poster boy for self-worth, never have been, and to have someone like Cas believe in me the way he does… it means more than I can say.

"Mind you, it hasn't always been sunshine and roses between us. We've hit some rough patches where things got dark, real dark, and I didn't know if we'd ever be able to come back from it.

"But we're still here. We're still fighting for each other. He has stuck around in a way that no one else in my life ever has.

"He's… well, he's Cas. And he means a heck of a lot to me."

"Have you told him any of this?"

Dean smiled a little. "I don't have to. He knows."


End file.
